As a white woman in 2020,
I am watching and learning.
Some might say too silently,
But I say,
if you can hear yourself think,
you aren’t truly listening.
I have been listening,
and what I’m hearing is:
Welcome to the end of the world.
You see, as a white Christian woman
(although, not a very good one. I’m working on it.)
I have seen the signs.
Whole forests burning, the plagues returning
and the wars that are churning
because people are turning away
from the One who breathes into us, life.
Yes,
life.
You may not agree with me,
and that is just fine.
Because no matter what, you cannot deny
that this world is spinning out of control.
Right now, it unwinds.
Peek through your blinds,
open your eyes to the chaos.
We are divided by color, creed,
political and spiritual beliefs,
we do not know unity.
We do not seek truth,
we seek validation.
Facts to back up what we believe in,
no matter how skewed,
how meticulously brewed,
or how offensive it’s viewed.
We do not seek truth
because we know it will hurt,
and we have been hurt enough.
Yes, I have been silent,
but not blissfully ignorant.
In my silence,
I have come to realize
it is not black versus white.
not left versus right,
or even wrong versus right.
It’s the same war that has raged
since the dawn of time:
evil versus evil.
Brother versus brother,
death versus life.
Yet day after day we ask ourselves why
this evil has survived,
why everyone must lie,
steal, kill, hate, divide,
I can tell you why.
You’re probably not gonna like it.
It’s the same answer I give to people who ask,
“If your god is so ‘good’,
all ‘loving’ and ‘wise’,
why doesn’t he just snap his fingers
and wipe out all the bad guys?”
Because there is not a good man among us,
and there would be none of us left.
Myself included.
Evil impulses course through all of us
like an underlying bass line
we don’t realize we’re tapping our foot to
when our favorite song plays.
We don’t always hear it, but we feel it.
Ever thrumming, always humming
“How can I get what I want?
How do I get away with murder?
If no one knows it’s missing,
Did I even steal it?”
Claim it’s never crossed your mind,
and I claim you a liar.
We are all evil by nature,
greedy, lying, scheming,
some of us are just better at hiding it.
We are all Cain and Abel,
willing and able
to do whatever it takes
to disguise the truth.
Because “the heart wants what it wants”.
It wants first prize,
to always be right,
to be recognized,
“I told you so,
I won, you lost,
It serves you right,”
and that will never change,
For we are destined for oblivion.
Thanks, Eve.
For a lifetime after lifetime of regret,
pain and suffering to such extent
no one can take a single breath
without someone claiming offense.
I hope that apple was worth it.
Yes, truth hurts.
If the truth didn’t hurt,
we wouldn’t have to say it.
If we weren’t afraid to,
I might be worried
our collective conscience
had completely withered away.
The truth may be difficult to bear,
but it is our right, our duty,
to throw off what scares us,
the inevitable truth:
All men must die.
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