Photo by MUILLU on Unsplash
I don’t know how
my heart got here:
stuck between
your teeth
and bleeding out
on my sleeve.
how it got
so full of rot
and gangrene,
yet so empty
I can see
what it’s not:
void of love
and dark spots
unexplored,
forgotten.
you ventured deep
into every crease,
revealed every hidden
part of me and played it for
the world to see.
you wide-screened my misery.
you flayed my skin,
unveiled the carnage within,
the long-battled war
I cannot win with myself.
you capitalized on
my personal hell
after swearing
you would never tell.
I wonder how
I fell for you.
for every lie
and every
sleepless night
you put me through.
I will forever wonder
what it’s like
to sleep without
dreaming of you
every night.
of every time
you took a bite
of my soul and
swallowed it
whole.
you take
a piece of me
with you
everywhere
you go.
I don’t know how
I became so porous
that everything
slips through me
the same way
you did.
how easily
I lost my grip
on you and
how greedily
you bit down
on my lip
to keep me
beneath you.
I will always wonder
how you’ve
kept me there:
between your thumb
and forefinger.
how you made me
feel so small
that a little pinch
is all it takes
for you
to break me
all over again.
how you stole
so much of
my control,
that I had to
grovel, beg you
for more.
I don’t know how
I let you in so easily
when everything
inside me screamed
stay the hell
away from me.
I don’t know how
I am to blame
for someone else
inflicting pain
on me.
how I could feel
so alone in the safety
of my own home.
how easily you
could bring me
to my knees,
but here I am
begging you
please,
let me go.
From my brand new poetry collection, CARNAGE.
eBook and paperback available on Amazon.
Click here.
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