THE CARNAGE WITHIN

Photo by MUILLU on Unsplash

I don’t know how

my heart got here:

stuck between

your teeth

and bleeding out

on my sleeve.

how it got

so full of rot

and gangrene,

yet so empty

I can see

what it’s not:

void of love

and dark spots

unexplored,

forgotten.

you ventured deep

into every crease,

revealed every hidden

part of me and played it for

the world to see.

you wide-screened my misery.

you flayed my skin,

unveiled the carnage within,

the long-battled war

I cannot win with myself.

you capitalized on

my personal hell

after swearing

you would never tell.

I wonder how

I fell for you.

for every lie

and every

sleepless night

you put me through.

I will forever wonder

what it’s like

to sleep without

dreaming of you

every night.

of every time

you took a bite

of my soul and

swallowed it

whole.

you take

a piece of me

with you

everywhere

you go.

I don’t know how

I became so porous

that everything

slips through me

the same way

you did.

how easily

I lost my grip

on you and

how greedily

you bit down

on my lip

to keep me

beneath you.

I will always wonder

how you’ve

kept me there:

between your thumb

and forefinger.

how you made me

feel so small

that a little pinch

is all it takes

for you

to break me

all over again.

how you stole

so much of

my control,

that I had to

grovel, beg you

for more.

I don’t know how

I let you in so easily

when everything

inside me screamed

stay the hell

away from me.

I don’t know how

I am to blame

for someone else

inflicting pain

on me.

how I could feel

so alone in the safety

of my own home.

how easily you

could bring me

to my knees,

but here I am

begging you

please,

let me go.

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From my brand new poetry collection, CARNAGE.

eBook and paperback available on Amazon.

Click here.